are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
too bad you live with your parents still
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
