it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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