My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
