I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
