what if every blade of grass was a penis?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
