They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize