But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
