Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
