Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
