we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
