I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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