Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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