and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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