I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
