I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize