apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
