I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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