I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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