Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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