PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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