We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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