its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
