i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This is the high leading the old right now
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
