so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
