You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize