Sry I called you an 8
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
