You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
