Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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