okay pat passed out under dana's car
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
