his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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