Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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