They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
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Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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