fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
