well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
