the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
