So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
