OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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