I think I died a long time ago.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Randomize
