check it out our google latitudes are spooning
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
