Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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