She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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