turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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