I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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