I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
