Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
