I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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