We got so high we made milksteak
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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