And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
