I bet he comes in French.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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