But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
