I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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