Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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