is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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