whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
