mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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