they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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