Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize