Me too!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
