I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
